To the Person that I Flip off every morning from September to May

Yeah, I know you’re a local. Yeah, I know you’re a good guy. I’m sorry if my flipping you off ruins your day.

I’m still going to flip you off. Out of love. I swear.

Here is why:

• Sleepy beings: Fawns. Does. Bucks in rut. Skinks,. Skunks. Bears. Raccoons. Butterflies. Moths. Salmon food (tiny bugs most people don’t care about and so naming them feels pointless). Snakes. Frogs. Mice. Douglas Squirrels. Cougars. Ground squirrels. Chipmunks. (they’re different beings!) Dogs. Cats. Young humans. All more needed in this world than your good vibes.

Surely, you’ve seen the signs this season with the body count of deer? Just because that wasn’t you r strike doesn’t mean that maxing your speed to the acceptable limit is appropriate on the country road that you travel.

• You speed until you stop. This is not a good plan. This is a bad plan. You need to slow down. Then stop. But you aren’t looking far enough ahead when you drive. Look further ahead than you are looking. Go slower for the momma turkey that can’t hear your vehicle as what she knows as danger.

• You are flippable. Your tiny car can be flipped by a larger speeding car who is also not paying attention to the awesomeness of the valley floor. If that happens, it should happen down the road from living beings.

• It is beautiful here. Slow down.

But until then, I proudly wave to you my fingers of fury, for the meek.